Book review of A.H. Brunelli’s “The Smile Collector”

Book review of A.H. Brunelli's “The Smile Collector”

Brazilian author A. H. Brunelli kindly sent us his novel “The Smile Collector”, and we asked our library manager, Alistair, to review it. Here’s the result!

“…I cried for the fear of what was to come, I cried for the despair I felt in those days without knowing what would happen to us. But my tears were also of happiness, happiness for having found him again, happiness for loving each other […]”

Brunelli’s writing is characterised by the intensity of emotions. As Henrique, he feels everything as it happens in the moment, and he feels it deeply and unapologetically. When he writes about the love he feels for Maurizio and the happiness felt at days spent in each other’s arms, those feelings overshadow the hardships of the reality surrounding them. The novel primarily recounts the events of 1987, and the AIDS crisis looms over Henrique and Maurizio as the months go by. Despite that, the focus is consistently on queer joy: aside from a few instances where Henrique has to deliberately omit the romantic nature of his and Maurizio’s relationship from hotel staff and the like, neither of the men express any contempt at the life they are living as two gay men. The novel is filled with passionate yet natural intimacy and paints a world where being queer does not sentence one to the life of isolation. However, while the feeling of joy that Brunelli describes in his memoir is all-consuming, so is the feeling of grief — the ending of the novel is unexpectedly bleak. The tonal shift in the final chapters is effective, but it does not seem to carry with it the feeling of hope in spite of everything that is captured in the rest of the novel. Grief hits Henrique hard, pinning him to the ground, and the readers do not get to see him pick himself up again.

Additionally, I would like to point out the feeling of community that Brunelli captures. While the focus of the novel is on the love story, and Henrique’s friends are only present in passing, the support they give him when he tells them about his love, and the comfort they offer when he needs it most are heartwarming. Although some of his interactions with others during his time in Italy are rather unpleasant, most of his friends seem to have his best interests in heart, which adds to the hopeful image of life as a queer person created by Brunelli.

Alistair Theodore Aleksin

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“The Collective Act” study visit recap

"The Collective Act" study visit

For the first time in history, the Behemoth’s center has hosted a study visit! Our dear friends from Active Rainbow in Latvia visited us on April 16-20th, 2026, in the frame of “The Collective Act” project.

On Day 1 we discussed our work and safe space rules, had a lovely worry stone workshop and our support group presentations. Later in the evening we had a historical walk around Tartu while covering hate symbols with stickers 🐈‍⬛

On Day 2 we continued worry stones workshop and discussed our support group for refugees and immigrants, had a fun insightful performance workshop by House of Kuko, visited our friends at Rotiauk and ate a lot of tasty food! 🤩

The final day was also full of events: we visited our friends at Paranduskelder for a workshop, had a tour in Loodusmaja and finally enjoyed a long boat ride on Emajõgi together! Peemoti Keskus says thank you to all participants and partners for this lovely experience!
 
The project is co-funded by the European Union’s Erasmus+ programme, which is administered in Latvia by Jaunatnes starptautisko programmu aģentūra. It is a KA2 small-scale partnership programme, coming out of the collaboration between @active_rainbow 🇱🇻 and @peemotikeskus 🇪🇪

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Trans Remembrance Quilt now online

Trans Remembrance Quilt now online

In Autumn 2024, Estonian trans community and their allies created something truly unique – a colorful tapestry, showcasing their creative and communal spirit. Today, we share with you an interactive version of the quilt and a downloadable book about the project. Today you can explore the interactive version of the quilt and download the book on the project.

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Behemoth’s fanfiction: now online

Behemoth's anthology: now online

Once upon a time, our then-intern (and now-volunteer) Alistair suggested a workshop on writing Behemoth fanfiction. Stories were told, pictures were drawn, and that’s how The Official Behemoth Anthology came to life. Today, we’ve uploaded the digital version of the book to our website for you to enjoy. And if you prefer a paper copy, you can borrow one from our library!

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Behemoth’s E-Shop is open!

Behemoth's e-shop is now open!

Behemoth’s e-shop is now open!🌈🎉👉 
 
Are you longing for our cool stickers but cannot visit the centre yourself? Or have you been looking for a way to support us financially? Now you have that chance, as we have opened our new online store! 😻✨
 
There, you will find not only stickers but also badges and postcards. We have many different designs available, all lovingly created by our volunteers! 🎨
 
You can still buy our products at the centre, but now you can also place your order online and have Behemoth’s merch delivered directly to your home (or a parcel machine) anywhere in Estonia! 📫
 
Thank you for supporting us!

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Pocket guide presentation “My Heath, My Rights”

Pocket guide presentation "My Heath, My Rights"

Mark your calendars for 18 April at 5 PM, as Praxis Think Tank is pleased to invite community members to the presentation of the pocket guide “My Health, My Rights,” created for LGBTQI+ individuals. ✊💊

Designed with the intention of empowering LGBTQI+ people, the guide aims to increase their awareness regarding health care for themselves and their close ones, navigating discrimination within healthcare settings and advocating for their rights when necessary. 🌈

The guide will be introduced and its creation discussed by Eke Allikvere, who is a junior analyst at Praxis and a peer counselor at the Estonian LGBT Association. ✨ In addition to the pocket guide, Eke will also briefly introduce the newly completed trans healthcare guide, which was created as part of the same project. 💘

The creation of the pocket guide was co-funded by the European Union and the Ministry of Social Affairs.

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Help us organize LGBTQ+ support groups!

Help us organize LGBTQ+ support groups!

Help us organize mental health support groups for LGBTQ+ people by donating on Hooandja! 🎉

LGBTQ+ people, especially younger ones, are often extremely vulnerable, and subjected to mental or physical abuse, social stigmatization and neglect by their families. Behemoth’s center has been hosting mental health support groups for almost a year, but now we are running out of funds. 🫂 ❤️‍🔥

To continue providing professional support for the members of our community, we desperately need your help. We are raising funds on Hooandja to cover the costs of organizing the support meetings for the whole year.

Please consider supporting our campaign on Hooandja, share this post, and see you at Behemoth’s center! 🐾

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Book review of Sven Mikser’s “Vareda”

Book review of the Sven Mikser's “Vareda”

Sven Mikser’s novel, “Vareda,” unfolds against the backdrop of the Estonian countryside during the summer of 1991, focusing on the experiences of 16-year-old art-enthusiast Johannes. The events of the book take place in the year 1991, in a small, quiet place in the Estonian countryside. Namely, the young man gets himself a job for the summer as a guard at Vareda village’s manor of the same name, where he meets and befriends a boy of the same age as he, Andreas.

The novel mainly explores themes of grief and identity, as well as reflecting the societal values of 1990s Estonia. Although, unfortunately, homophobic thinking and language has not been completely omitted from the book, it is still clear that the author does not condemn the innocent love between the main characters, but the prejudices of other people and society as a whole. Compared to many other books, “Vareda” contains notably little homophobia.

It can be noted that the plot of the book is not exactly very substantial, and in terms of the events, essentially nothing much happens there. Although this may make the book boring for some readers, it can also be viewed from another angle. The fact that by the end of the book so many questions remain unanswered, provides food for thought even after finishing the read.

Sadly, the end of the novel was in some ways disappointing even, because the culmination of events felt a little too calm. At the same time, that can also be interpreted as a parallel with “end-of-the-summer-sadness” (Mikser 2023: 296), that all of us have also probably experienced. The book manages to skillfully create a nostalgic atmosphere, despite Mikser’s descriptions of the environment not being the most detailed.

In conclusion, while “Vareda” is certainly not perfect, it is noteworthy that the book represents queer relationships from a kind point of view, steering clear of self-hate narratives. It is a novel that normalizes gay love and closeness, and we are so happy to see that such a book has been written about Estonia and Estonian characters. Although it might not end up being everyone’s favorite book, we found it to be very enjoyable. We recommend that anyone interested take a look at it if possible.

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Last book club meeting of 2023

Last bookclub meeting of 2023: how it went

Time for another blog post about our latest, and this year’s last, book club meeting!

This time so many people turned up that we could barely fit everyone to sit in the same room! The best turnout we’ve had thus far. Thank you so much to everyone who came! We had such a great time munching away on some delicious pizza and discussing this meeting’s themes with you. Truly ending the year with a bang 😊

The theme this time was “Queers vs State”. A pretty broad topic, but that just gave us a lot of possible sub-topics to talk about. This meeting pretty much just turned into a venting session. We got to express our many frustrations with our native countries’ governments, the lack of protection for queer people by the state, and trans people’s dire situation with gender-affirming healthcare. In addition, we also learned about the situation of queer people in Poland and China and the sadly low rate of acceptance for queer folks in Estonian middle schools.

We also shared our Interesting™ (mostly negative) experiences with how queer people are talked about in education, or whether our existence is mentioned at all. It was lovely to hear that some people have still had some more positive experiences at school, but so disheartening to hear that the overall situation has in some senses gotten even worse. We also touched on seemingly unrelated topics, such as the fact that public transport is so expensive in Tartu. We agreed that it would be lovely if university students and young people in their twenties got more discounts in general :’)

Besides everything we talked about, it was also super heartening to see people, who usually seem more quiet and reserved, gradually get more comfortable and chime in more and more. All of our book club visitors are incredibly dear to us and we love that we can create a safe space for people to come together and feel like they belong somewhere.

Although it is called a “book club”, we have noticed that most people who join us don’t actually read that many books. Which is also perfectly okay, no shame in that whatsoever! We usually end up talking more about movies and TV shows, and most prevalent are people’s own personal experiences. This is why we have been discussing that starting from 2024 we should maybe transform our book club into something more of a discussion corner/talking hour/etc. Maybe then we would not be as limited in our discussion topics and hopefully more people would want to join us on a regular basis.

Currently the plan is to keep the format of the meetings the same as it has been these past few months. So that we have a general theme, some possible discussion questions prepared to get the visitors talking, and some snacks to keep us all satiated while we enjoy each other’s wonderful company. But starting from the new year, it would just be without any added pressure to be a reader to join.

If you would still like to have a book club as well, let us know! We would love to have a place to discuss any and all queer literary finds. Even during this meeting quite a few people expressed their interest in queer fiction, which was incredibly lovely to hear!

All in all, we were so happy to see so many of you join this time and we hope to see you again in whatever format we decide on, come new year.

Thank you for a wonderful year of book clubbing and see you again in 2024!

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